I feel tired, not due to my examination and preparation, but rather the intellectual and political battle that was going on between myself and my country. It’s something implicit; we are not literally going to war. But the long-term consequences, in my opinion, could be far worse than that.
There are too many things, in fact too much, that I do not know. [In fact, as you might conclude later, that this article should be more appropriately titled "What I Don't Know"] I don’t know whether Malaysia is ready for freedom. I don’t know the exact details of the government budget, and its development since independence. I don’t know whether the kind of ‘harmony’ we are so used to talking about is a reality or outright myth. And so on.
I don’t know whether Malaysia is ready for freedom. People had done so much violence to English language that the word democracy has been deprived of much of its original sense. Democracy is the rule of people; but there are many loopholes nowadays. Is a majority oppressing a minority considered democratic? Who is the people? Don’t think this is a trivial question; in the old days, slaves are not considered as people! The same happens to liberal. What connotes freedom has evolved, in fact, to conformity. Fortunately, freedom remains largely true to itself. Although it has been stained by various negative connotations, such as the sense of rebellion and radical for the sake of being radical, the fundamental meaning of the word still remains close to us.
I am particularly disappointed by one episode Milton Friedman recalled, and I quote:
[In 1962] I visited the University of Malaya and gave a public lecture under its auspices. I do not have any records of the lecture, but I remember it very well because of its ending. The chairman was a Malay professor at the university. In my lecture, I contrasted the development of Japan in the early decades after the Meiji restoration, when it was compelled by international agreement to practice free trade (no duties above 5 percent), and did practice nearly laissez-faire in economics, and the development of India since it achieved independence and practiced detailed central planning. The contrast is highly favorable to a free-trade policy and unfavorable to central planning. The applicability of my comparison to Malaysia was obvious. At the end of the lecture, the Malay professor in the chair could contain himself no longer and burst out with something like, “If we followed the policy you recommend, the Chinese would dominate the country. We Malays are not going to stand for that.”
Has this kind of sentiment receded? I hope so, but I don’t know. If it has, so much the better; then we could all work for the betterment of the country jointly and severally. If it has not, the situation becomes more complicated, at least for me individually. That complications stem from two considerations: that whether (i) the majority of Malaysians wants to practice freedom as their way of life, and (ii) whether my belief is compatible with the Malaysian thinking.
Firstly, do the majority of Malaysians want to practice freedom as their way of life? If you ask orally the reply would probably be ‘yes’. But what matters is practice. Do you have effective freedom of press, and do you really want it? Do you want ISA, and if you are in power, do you want to abolish it? Do you want to abolish subsidies, even though it might mean a much visible increase in petrol [or whatever essentials like rice, that are subsidized] prices, not withstanding the invisible benefits that follow along, such as higher productivity, leaner bureaucracy and lower real taxes? I conclude after reading all the opinion pieces in the newspaper that the answer lies to the negative. Of course, it is hard to ascertain whether the pieces reflect fairly the opinions of Malaysians.
Secondly, is my belief compatible with the Malaysian thinking? Again, I hope so, but I don’t know. If my belief is compatible with the Malaysian thinking, then there is at least a point for me to help the country, and it will benefit from it. I am well aware that it would be a tiring and taxing process, but at least the results would be worthwhile.
But, let’s say, what I believe is not compatible with the Malaysian thinking. Nature is the ultimate democracy – why? Nature never stops you from doing something, but does ensure that you bear the consequential reward or burden in full, visible or invisible. (The humanly domain seeks to approach this as closely as possible – but not always successful – or always not successful 
) If Malaysians vote with their practice not to be democratic, there’s perfectly all right – after all, in most of human history, people voted with their practice not to be free – imperial China, Europe and so on. In so doing they did bear the costs and benefits. So if I believe in freedom and if Nature is indeed the ultimate democracy – ought not I let them be free to choose the course they want to embark? The most I can do is to advice – not violent actions. If I had approached such a point that my advice renders more harm than good to the country, in the sense that it incites irrational behavior and violent actions, the best thing I could do is to leave – not to save my own skin, but to save the country and its people from unnecessary hardship that arises because of my action.
I don’t know the exact details of the government budget, and its development since independence. Maybe you thought I am knowledgeable all along since I take great interest in such economic inquiry; but in reality, I am not. Hopefully during the course of the next few weeks or months I can embark upon such study and draw some conclusions from it. Only then I could have a better knowledge, and in a better position, to ascertain the big questions above – whether Malaysia is ready for freedom and whether my thinking approximates that of my fellow citizens.
I think I better stop for now, if not I’d become even more tired But hopefully, you’ll think over some of the questions…
